I have been fantasizing about hosting a Fat Camp here at the farm. I remember that being kind of a thing when I was growing up. Seems like there were movies and Young Adult fiction books glorifying the idea. Probably it is not ok to speak, or write, of Fat Camps now, and many things I do are not ok so let us add one to the list.
The physical activity I engage in on a typical day is way beyond what an average person would even be able to do. I am thinking of the average person in our current 'American' culture, maybe driving to and from their job which probably involves sitting or standing in one place for many hours of the day. My job as an ICU RN was quite physically active but when I changed to Hospice Nursing my bum got a lot bigger. I was driving around in my car, visiting with people, and then documenting on the computer what I had done all day, which was sit, on my bum.
When I moved to this farm my whole body began to change as I eagerly dug into the labor available. I have always known that vigorous exercise is good for my particular constitution but had never found a way to incorporate it into life naturally. Going to the gym was alright but my heart longed for something that I found on this farm. Exercise or keeping physically fit just became more of a side effect of my life circumstances. My body looked good not because I was all focused on slimming down but just because I got out of bed and lived my new life. This is what my heart had longed for, a complete system, a whole life. Seems like what I absorbed from society growing up was a division of ideas, a separation between parts of one's life. I have always thought of myself as strong, able to open jars when other females cannot, that sort of thing. But I also felt fat or big for most of my life. Having a goal to slim down and look a certain way always loomed in the back of my mind and seemed like its own separate box that I never quite could get checked off.
What a relief one day after moving here, to notice that, hey, I can get my jeans on easy and look, I can squat down in them with out severe pain where they used to cut into flesh. The box had been checked for me. I was slim, toned up. And the funny thing was, now I hardly even cared about it. I was living in the country and rarely going out in public, all my neighbors wear long skirts and head coverings so they did not care about my cute bum and shapely arms. My life was satisfying in so many new ways that looking a certain way had truly become a side effect and not a separate goal. Now I felt whole in a new way.
This has been a few years ago now and I continue to marvel at the strength and joy my body provides. I was charging up some hill the other day saying right out loud how grateful I am to be 44 years old, barefoot, carrying a heavy load, climbing this here gate and not even breathing hard. The celebration of my body and its capabilities is a continuous source of amazement for me. Its wonderful that I struggled with it for so long because now it just never gets old. Look at me, carrying two heavy buckets, barefoot, over uneven, hilly terrain, I'm making sugar in the woods! Look at me holding on to this rope while a 4 month old monster bull calf tries, and fails, to show me which way we are going to go. Look at me, carrying my 30 pound kid on my back for half an hour, going up and down hills, chasing cows up to the milk barn. I love it. I am not working out, I am just living.
So anyway, Fat Camp. I love the idea of hosting a bunch of soft, squishy women here at the farm. We could get up every morning and take a little walk to warm up and then do some gentle stretching.
I would lead them on a long, hilly walk out to the woods and we would gather fire wood with hand saws. There would be heavy buckets to carry and milk cans to lift, paths to be cleared and fences to tear down. The labor available is endless and its all outside in a beautiful place. The farm would benefit greatly from all the labor and the positive energy of the ladies. Oh it would be so fun the laughter alone would tone up bellies.
Living this kind of life every day is not for everyone, diversity of ideas and humans makes the world alive and beautiful. That is why I love the idea of Fat Camp because people could come for a short time to dive in and try something new while maybe losing a few pounds and tightening things up. They could gain huge satisfaction knowing their labor was a lasting contribution to something real and functional. I imagine I would be a good host because I have lived soft and desired something different. I know what it feels like to want to love my body. Putting our bodies to work, meaningful work, is such a fun way to love them. And they will love us back.
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Sunday, March 31, 2019
Saturday, March 30, 2019
Germ Theory
I got into a pleasant discussion with some new friends at a weekend gathering back in January. They were speaking of living in a way that allowed just their vegetable operation to support them without need for 'jobs' off the farm. I piped in and encouraged them to pursue this option. Not having had a 'job' myself for over 5 years now, its fun to nudge others in the direction of disentangling themselves from the system. My friend Katherine was accused of having "No visible means of support" and she felt this a great compliment. I see it that way also.
Moving towards not needing an outside job in large part comes from slashing expenses. And slashing expenses is a life style change. It is a paradigm shift. If one comes to value their time at home and their personal freedom more and more, this is a natural process. I would only discuss this with someone who was wondering about it. The shift has to be part of the person's natural evolution and general direction in life. Forcing this kind of change does not work and when it happens easily the results can be beautiful.
My new friends and I felt comfortable discussing numbers and really examining how to live simply and stay at home to pursue passions and live a fulfilling life. I offered the number $6,000. That is what I live on here at the farm with two other humans. Two adults and one growing child live comfortably, and I mean luxuriously, on $6,000 per year. Now this land is paid off so that changes everything. Moving towards freedom is a process and shifting a paradigm can take some time so knowing that one is moving towards paying off land by slashing expenses can be so helpful.
Part of what helped me spend less money was a little rule I made up for myself in 2003 after reading a book about factories in China that produce all of the items sold in any Walmart or Target store here in the good ole USA. I decided to only buy things that were 'made in USA'. It quickly became clear that I was now unable to buy almost anything. I became a bit obsessed, examining every package of socks, looking at the tag of every item and then quickly putting it down when it did not say USA. I was not all pro-USA, I was just trying to pay attention to what my money was supporting. Just the thought of a huge, stinky ship crossing the beautiful ocean only to carry this item to me was enough to help me put it down and walk away. This rule for myself was sort of a game I began to play and it turned into a real life style change.
Then it seemed reasonable to cash in my retirement account from the nursing job I was still working. I knew the money was being used to fund wars and produce dangerous, useless chemicals so I took it away from the investment company. That is my money and the interest earned isn't worth the cost to humanity. My paradigm was really shifting. Then I quit my nursing job, rented out rooms in my house and started working on vegetable farms. My monetary income had fallen 75% and I'd never been happier. I was barefoot in the sunshine 6 days a week, eating better than I ever had, and getting real physical exercise that had me looking better than ever too. Then I rented out the whole house and moved to this farm where I've been for over 8 years. Now the expense slashing really got going.
I thought I had been living simply and I had, for city standards. But moving out here to the deep country changed even more than I knew could be changed. I loved it. That's why it works for me. One has to be ready and the change has to be a natural part of a life's path.
So in the discussion with my new friends one thing I did not feel comfortable mentioning are my views on and experience with, the germ theory. Letting go of the fear of germs and really understanding how planet earth functions with humans and all creatures actually helped me slash expenses. This is a bit confusing to me because the process was so gradual and I remain a comfortable human, not disease ridden, as popular culture would declare. I remember spending much energy trying to decide which shampoo would help my hair look good and which lotion would make my skin nice and I wanted the biggest bottle so I wouldn't need to buy more in a few weeks and I wanted organic because I had the money and so might as well support companies that were trying to do the right thing... blah blah blah.
Its so weird to me now, all those hours in the isle at whole foods reading labels and the money handed over at the cash register. Now, here on the farm, knowing what I know about the planet where we live, I don't use soap to wash my dishes. I don't use soap to wash my kid. I don't use shampoo to wash my hair. I don't use soap to wash the milking equipment. We do pay for LP gas that heats our water and we use really hot water, that is to me, a luxury that I truly enjoy. My diet is so different now than it used to be with all the healthy fat that I eat every single day that I don't require lotion anymore. Even in the winter! I mean I can't really even believe it. I've lived in Michigan most of my 44 years and lotion in the winter is just a fact of life. Nope. Not anymore. I haven't bought a bottle of lotion for many years. My skin does not get dry, it is soft and quite beautiful. I guess you could say I eat the lotion. And chapstick either, not needed. Because I don't use soap to wash my hair all the natural oils stay and do what they're supposed to do, nourish my hair and my scalp. I rinse it with water occasionally and I brush it every day but not spending money on shampoo and conditioner has been life changing for me.
This all seems simple and silly and a bit crazy. Its not something I generally discuss with people, that I don't use soap to wash my dishes. I am perfectly happy with my life and the home I live in and I want to respect other people's religious views about the germ theory. If I started spouting off about how biodiversity makes the world go round, they would feel that I was threatening the bottles under their sink that they hold so dear. This paradigm shift is not for everyone and I just wanted to share the truth about my life because it feels good to come clean - ha! If there is anyone else out there who suspects they could change a few things in their life but it feels weird, I want to encourage you. Go with what you feel may be right, even though it looks totally different than everything around you.
Moving towards not needing an outside job in large part comes from slashing expenses. And slashing expenses is a life style change. It is a paradigm shift. If one comes to value their time at home and their personal freedom more and more, this is a natural process. I would only discuss this with someone who was wondering about it. The shift has to be part of the person's natural evolution and general direction in life. Forcing this kind of change does not work and when it happens easily the results can be beautiful.
My new friends and I felt comfortable discussing numbers and really examining how to live simply and stay at home to pursue passions and live a fulfilling life. I offered the number $6,000. That is what I live on here at the farm with two other humans. Two adults and one growing child live comfortably, and I mean luxuriously, on $6,000 per year. Now this land is paid off so that changes everything. Moving towards freedom is a process and shifting a paradigm can take some time so knowing that one is moving towards paying off land by slashing expenses can be so helpful.
Part of what helped me spend less money was a little rule I made up for myself in 2003 after reading a book about factories in China that produce all of the items sold in any Walmart or Target store here in the good ole USA. I decided to only buy things that were 'made in USA'. It quickly became clear that I was now unable to buy almost anything. I became a bit obsessed, examining every package of socks, looking at the tag of every item and then quickly putting it down when it did not say USA. I was not all pro-USA, I was just trying to pay attention to what my money was supporting. Just the thought of a huge, stinky ship crossing the beautiful ocean only to carry this item to me was enough to help me put it down and walk away. This rule for myself was sort of a game I began to play and it turned into a real life style change.
Then it seemed reasonable to cash in my retirement account from the nursing job I was still working. I knew the money was being used to fund wars and produce dangerous, useless chemicals so I took it away from the investment company. That is my money and the interest earned isn't worth the cost to humanity. My paradigm was really shifting. Then I quit my nursing job, rented out rooms in my house and started working on vegetable farms. My monetary income had fallen 75% and I'd never been happier. I was barefoot in the sunshine 6 days a week, eating better than I ever had, and getting real physical exercise that had me looking better than ever too. Then I rented out the whole house and moved to this farm where I've been for over 8 years. Now the expense slashing really got going.
I thought I had been living simply and I had, for city standards. But moving out here to the deep country changed even more than I knew could be changed. I loved it. That's why it works for me. One has to be ready and the change has to be a natural part of a life's path.
So in the discussion with my new friends one thing I did not feel comfortable mentioning are my views on and experience with, the germ theory. Letting go of the fear of germs and really understanding how planet earth functions with humans and all creatures actually helped me slash expenses. This is a bit confusing to me because the process was so gradual and I remain a comfortable human, not disease ridden, as popular culture would declare. I remember spending much energy trying to decide which shampoo would help my hair look good and which lotion would make my skin nice and I wanted the biggest bottle so I wouldn't need to buy more in a few weeks and I wanted organic because I had the money and so might as well support companies that were trying to do the right thing... blah blah blah.
Its so weird to me now, all those hours in the isle at whole foods reading labels and the money handed over at the cash register. Now, here on the farm, knowing what I know about the planet where we live, I don't use soap to wash my dishes. I don't use soap to wash my kid. I don't use shampoo to wash my hair. I don't use soap to wash the milking equipment. We do pay for LP gas that heats our water and we use really hot water, that is to me, a luxury that I truly enjoy. My diet is so different now than it used to be with all the healthy fat that I eat every single day that I don't require lotion anymore. Even in the winter! I mean I can't really even believe it. I've lived in Michigan most of my 44 years and lotion in the winter is just a fact of life. Nope. Not anymore. I haven't bought a bottle of lotion for many years. My skin does not get dry, it is soft and quite beautiful. I guess you could say I eat the lotion. And chapstick either, not needed. Because I don't use soap to wash my hair all the natural oils stay and do what they're supposed to do, nourish my hair and my scalp. I rinse it with water occasionally and I brush it every day but not spending money on shampoo and conditioner has been life changing for me.
This all seems simple and silly and a bit crazy. Its not something I generally discuss with people, that I don't use soap to wash my dishes. I am perfectly happy with my life and the home I live in and I want to respect other people's religious views about the germ theory. If I started spouting off about how biodiversity makes the world go round, they would feel that I was threatening the bottles under their sink that they hold so dear. This paradigm shift is not for everyone and I just wanted to share the truth about my life because it feels good to come clean - ha! If there is anyone else out there who suspects they could change a few things in their life but it feels weird, I want to encourage you. Go with what you feel may be right, even though it looks totally different than everything around you.
Thursday, March 28, 2019
Luxurious
Frequently ideas about luxury and extravagance come to mind when reflecting on my life situation. I find myself living an extravagant life style, basking in luxury. Some looking from the outside in, would not use those words to describe what goes on here. As Mary Poppins says, "it all depends on your point of view".
Working as an RN in the Trauma / Burn Intensive Care Unit of a University Hospital, I knew what hard work was. Twelve hour shifts that regularly included a two to four hour dressing change where up to five people worked on one patient in a 100 degree Fahrenheit room while wearing plastic gowns, face coverings, and all hoping the person lived through the end of our shift, at least. To me, that's what hard work feels like. As I left nursing and started farming one phrase I heard repeatedly from people was, "oh farming, that's hard work". I still hear it quite a bit and I generally do not even try to explain my point of view any more. It is possible that I am not a farmer, especially in the sense that most people think of. It is also likely that people who say things like, "that's hard work" have a limited view of life's experiences.
I've been 'farming' now for over seven years and a clear distinction has developed for me between labor and work. Work is generally not something I participate in anymore. I prefer to labor. And it is similar to word choices people use when discussing God, or a higher power, or Universal Love, we use words that are comfortable for us. Labor for me has become something that sustains my luxury. It keeps my body in good physical shape and it feeds my soul like singing worship in a black church in Ypsilanti. I am good at labor, its one thing I was called here to do.
I love being barefoot outside as much as I can. When its cold out but the wood stove is kicking out heat, its feels wonderful to me to run out side, let my bare feet touch the earth for a few moments and then come inside for a nice pair of clean socks. For six or seven months of the year living a life that allows bare feet every day is a life of luxury. No sidewalks, no pavement, just the earth in all her lovely forms to walk upon, mud, grass, ankle high creeks.
I guess the food is one of the main reasons I feel luxury and extravagance in my everyday life. I love food. I love to eat. I'm a good eater. Physical labor goes well with an enjoyment of eating, they balance each other out. I am not talking about 'oh I had the best meal out at dinner last night'. The food here is amazing, as in nourishing, flavorful, and alive. I do feel qualified to describe food in this way. There was money in my life for a significant span of time and I have eaten at fine restaurants and shopped at quality, high end stores. This food is different. And I eat it every day. Every day, for every meal!
Bacon, how many days this week do I want to eat bacon? Just reach into the freezer and grab a package. Sugar. Just let the sugar lumps pour into a quart jar of kefir. Ice cream, oh the ice cream. As much as I can eat. Many times I sprinkle sugar on my ice cream as a topping. Cheese, oh good Lord the Cheese. Warm cheese curd, fried cheese curd, soft fresh cheese, soft older cheese, hard cheese, its all here. I can eat as much cheese as I want all day every day. OK so part of the luxury comes from my current understanding of human health. I know that the evil cholesterol they speak of is an illusion. I know that eggs and milk from this place are not even the same food as the eggs and 'milk' available to people who believe in cholesterol. I know that fat is what makes up the wall of each cell in my body. Each cell. So I need to eat some fat, and I do, unlimited amounts of fat. Because the fat from this food is fat in its pure, original form. Nourish, that's what the food here does for my body, it nourishes my body.
More than I realized, luxury does depend on one's point of view. It would be dangerous to eat all this glorious food while subscribing to western medical 'knowledge'. I believe it could make a person sick. So I stand in appreciation for my understanding of the perfect human body and the delicious food that has been abundantly provided to nourish that physical self.
I live an extravagant, luxurious life and I enjoy excellent physical health and I am so grateful!
Working as an RN in the Trauma / Burn Intensive Care Unit of a University Hospital, I knew what hard work was. Twelve hour shifts that regularly included a two to four hour dressing change where up to five people worked on one patient in a 100 degree Fahrenheit room while wearing plastic gowns, face coverings, and all hoping the person lived through the end of our shift, at least. To me, that's what hard work feels like. As I left nursing and started farming one phrase I heard repeatedly from people was, "oh farming, that's hard work". I still hear it quite a bit and I generally do not even try to explain my point of view any more. It is possible that I am not a farmer, especially in the sense that most people think of. It is also likely that people who say things like, "that's hard work" have a limited view of life's experiences.
I've been 'farming' now for over seven years and a clear distinction has developed for me between labor and work. Work is generally not something I participate in anymore. I prefer to labor. And it is similar to word choices people use when discussing God, or a higher power, or Universal Love, we use words that are comfortable for us. Labor for me has become something that sustains my luxury. It keeps my body in good physical shape and it feeds my soul like singing worship in a black church in Ypsilanti. I am good at labor, its one thing I was called here to do.
I love being barefoot outside as much as I can. When its cold out but the wood stove is kicking out heat, its feels wonderful to me to run out side, let my bare feet touch the earth for a few moments and then come inside for a nice pair of clean socks. For six or seven months of the year living a life that allows bare feet every day is a life of luxury. No sidewalks, no pavement, just the earth in all her lovely forms to walk upon, mud, grass, ankle high creeks.
I guess the food is one of the main reasons I feel luxury and extravagance in my everyday life. I love food. I love to eat. I'm a good eater. Physical labor goes well with an enjoyment of eating, they balance each other out. I am not talking about 'oh I had the best meal out at dinner last night'. The food here is amazing, as in nourishing, flavorful, and alive. I do feel qualified to describe food in this way. There was money in my life for a significant span of time and I have eaten at fine restaurants and shopped at quality, high end stores. This food is different. And I eat it every day. Every day, for every meal!
Bacon, how many days this week do I want to eat bacon? Just reach into the freezer and grab a package. Sugar. Just let the sugar lumps pour into a quart jar of kefir. Ice cream, oh the ice cream. As much as I can eat. Many times I sprinkle sugar on my ice cream as a topping. Cheese, oh good Lord the Cheese. Warm cheese curd, fried cheese curd, soft fresh cheese, soft older cheese, hard cheese, its all here. I can eat as much cheese as I want all day every day. OK so part of the luxury comes from my current understanding of human health. I know that the evil cholesterol they speak of is an illusion. I know that eggs and milk from this place are not even the same food as the eggs and 'milk' available to people who believe in cholesterol. I know that fat is what makes up the wall of each cell in my body. Each cell. So I need to eat some fat, and I do, unlimited amounts of fat. Because the fat from this food is fat in its pure, original form. Nourish, that's what the food here does for my body, it nourishes my body.
More than I realized, luxury does depend on one's point of view. It would be dangerous to eat all this glorious food while subscribing to western medical 'knowledge'. I believe it could make a person sick. So I stand in appreciation for my understanding of the perfect human body and the delicious food that has been abundantly provided to nourish that physical self.
I live an extravagant, luxurious life and I enjoy excellent physical health and I am so grateful!
Wednesday, March 27, 2019
commitment
Turns out, I am committed to a way of life. Society helped me believe that I would be committed to a man and our children and that would be the whole world. Not so. That is one way to live and I see it working for some people. They live their lives around work schedules for jobs that pay the bills.
Things turned out different for me and as I am noticing it and accepting it, I feel satisfied. Feeling satisfied in this life is a tremendous accomplishment and one I am proud of. Making a decision to experience contentment and satisfaction with circumstances around me has been liberating.
Here I am on this huge piece of land with a child and a grumpy old man that takes care of the big things. He put my name on the deed to this land. He gave me 120 acres. I feel it is rare and so special to have received a gift of land. A really big piece of land. And its beautiful here, I love it. I love living in Michigan and this place where I find myself settled is a fine example of Michigan beauty. There are hills and trees, wetlands, creeks, woods and open fields, all on a dirt road. I love living on a dirt road.
What I have here is freedom. Freedom from hangups and attachments to money that used to rule my life much more than I realized. Freedom from mirrors and caring about how I look. I do not go out in public much, maybe once a week. I love my hair and my coloring and my body and I feel satisfied with the labor I participate in every day. So when I go out I present a whole person who is not really interested in the latest fashion. I am comfortable in my clothes and not influenced by the media images that so many people take in multiple times a day. Freedom.
And I don't really expect anyone to understand this. I only understand it because I've made a decision to embrace this freedom. It is different, new and unique to my experience. Each person that truly experiences freedom will have their own story to tell.
The life style that I lead here lets me choose labor over working. Being free to develop my personal relationship with God with out pressure from social forces to behave a certain way in order to correctly represent a business. I believe it is possible to develop one's relationship with God under any circumstances and I really enjoy doing it here, raw. Labor instead of working means that there is no job that pays me money for my work. I labor to get the sugar I want. I could work a job and take the money earned to the store and buy sugar. Here, sugar means a month of labor. Carrying heavy buckets of sap quite a distance over uneven terrain. (Barefoot. Many days it is warm enough to do this barefoot. One of the top freedoms that I am committed to.) Gathering large amounts of firewood with hand saws. Finding small dead trees, cutting them down and sawing into pieces that can then be dragged or carried quite a distance back to the fire. All for sugar.
I love sugar, always have. This is the only sugar I'll eat all year. I don't buy processed food or drink at the grocery store. I eat what this place provides me with so the only sugar that goes in my body is the sugar my body directly labored for in the woods. This is how I am understanding my commitment. There is nothing I would rather be doing. It fulfills my soul. I feel honored beyond belief to receive the gift of sugar from mama earth. I am harvesting the abundance of what is offered and to me it is worship. I love sugar, the trees are offering and I am receiving. Its a beautiful relationship. That's what it is. I am committed to a relationship. I am married to the earth and I am committed to listening to her, learning from her, sharing my gifts with her and working together as a loving, seamless beautiful creative experience.
Things turned out different for me and as I am noticing it and accepting it, I feel satisfied. Feeling satisfied in this life is a tremendous accomplishment and one I am proud of. Making a decision to experience contentment and satisfaction with circumstances around me has been liberating.
Here I am on this huge piece of land with a child and a grumpy old man that takes care of the big things. He put my name on the deed to this land. He gave me 120 acres. I feel it is rare and so special to have received a gift of land. A really big piece of land. And its beautiful here, I love it. I love living in Michigan and this place where I find myself settled is a fine example of Michigan beauty. There are hills and trees, wetlands, creeks, woods and open fields, all on a dirt road. I love living on a dirt road.
What I have here is freedom. Freedom from hangups and attachments to money that used to rule my life much more than I realized. Freedom from mirrors and caring about how I look. I do not go out in public much, maybe once a week. I love my hair and my coloring and my body and I feel satisfied with the labor I participate in every day. So when I go out I present a whole person who is not really interested in the latest fashion. I am comfortable in my clothes and not influenced by the media images that so many people take in multiple times a day. Freedom.
And I don't really expect anyone to understand this. I only understand it because I've made a decision to embrace this freedom. It is different, new and unique to my experience. Each person that truly experiences freedom will have their own story to tell.
The life style that I lead here lets me choose labor over working. Being free to develop my personal relationship with God with out pressure from social forces to behave a certain way in order to correctly represent a business. I believe it is possible to develop one's relationship with God under any circumstances and I really enjoy doing it here, raw. Labor instead of working means that there is no job that pays me money for my work. I labor to get the sugar I want. I could work a job and take the money earned to the store and buy sugar. Here, sugar means a month of labor. Carrying heavy buckets of sap quite a distance over uneven terrain. (Barefoot. Many days it is warm enough to do this barefoot. One of the top freedoms that I am committed to.) Gathering large amounts of firewood with hand saws. Finding small dead trees, cutting them down and sawing into pieces that can then be dragged or carried quite a distance back to the fire. All for sugar.
I love sugar, always have. This is the only sugar I'll eat all year. I don't buy processed food or drink at the grocery store. I eat what this place provides me with so the only sugar that goes in my body is the sugar my body directly labored for in the woods. This is how I am understanding my commitment. There is nothing I would rather be doing. It fulfills my soul. I feel honored beyond belief to receive the gift of sugar from mama earth. I am harvesting the abundance of what is offered and to me it is worship. I love sugar, the trees are offering and I am receiving. Its a beautiful relationship. That's what it is. I am committed to a relationship. I am married to the earth and I am committed to listening to her, learning from her, sharing my gifts with her and working together as a loving, seamless beautiful creative experience.
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