spiritual sex.

 Healthy, balanced sexuality

  When Mateo was little, naked, toddling around the house, I would joyfully squeal, “Puddle!” when he peed on the floor, or even outside.  His physical body was doing something normal and healthy and I meant to encourage an awareness around his pee-pee being released.  Creating and environment of conscious acknowledgement and joyful acceptance, near celebration of the normal physical process his body was displaying.   The idea was that as he became conscious of the physical process of releasing the bladder, he would then also gain control and work in harmony with his body to eventually choose when and where to pee.  Creating an environment of love and respect for the body so he can live in peaceful harmony with his physical vessel.  Its a long term relationship we humans have with our bodies and I wanted Mateo’s relationship to be loving and honest and full of reverence and cooperation.

then sex.

I’ve been thinking about sex and physical pleasure and I want him to have a go at a healthy, balanced relationship with his penis and his body’s physical expression of sensuous pleasure.  For now I see three distinct sort of stages for a young human to develop through.  

Stage one involves private personal pleasure.  The boy child gets to know his body and notices that the penis becomes erect sometimes.  At some point the penis will release semen.  I want this all to be normalized, just like learning how to pee in a toilet.  I want the child to explore his body and maintain the focus on Love and respect for the physical pleasure it offers.  I imagine him noticing how the pleasure is deeper when there is Love and understanding surrounding an experience of self-stimulation.  I want him to create an intimate relationship with his own inner Being through the experience of physical self pleasure.  

Stage two involves a second person, a friend and their physical body.  I know it feels good to explore another’s body and to have my body explored by a good friend.  I want this child of mine, growing into a man, to lovingly and consciously explore with another human, maintaining his focus on his relationship with his own inner being.  This means that the other person will never be responsible for his pleasure and he will never be responsible for the pleasure of the other.  The humans can participate in each other’s pleasure but the responsibility for pleasure and for release always stay with each individual.  

Stage three involves clear communication, babies, and two people sharing responsibility for each other’s pleasure and release.  

Decision

 I havee decided that All is Well.  I have decided that Love is all there is.  I have decided that I cannot get it wrong.  

I have decided that I live here, in this place on earth and I have decided that I will live here until I die.  I have decided that I follow inspiration and I can move away from here if that inspiration comes, and while that isn’t happening, I am living here.

Making a decision about where to live until I die frees up a lot of energy.  Many other decisions can flow from the idea that I will live here forever.  

Neighbors.  Developing relationships with neighbors becomes relevant and pleasant, meaningful, worthwhile.  Exploring the woods and getting to know the hills and the trees feels deeply satisfying as I imagine my life continuing to unfold in their steady presence.  I like being steady like the hills and the trees.  Knowing that my shape and surroundings will evolve over time and that my place will never change.  

I’ve watched people in my life wondering and searching for a new place to live, to make their home.  I remember putting energy into seeking a new apartment and getting to know new streets and neighbors, moving my physical belongings from one container to another.  Having made the decision to stay here, to live here, sets myself into a space of settling, of commitment, of long, long term relationships.  I can offer stability to humans that need a stable place.  This lifestyle offers a different perspective on human life in our current culture.  Its soothing to know that I can rest here, relax, and allow myself to grow old.  It feels good to think about old friends returning after many years, returning to the last place they saw me only to find me still here, stable and welcoming their visit.  Acceptance.  There is an acceptance of things when the place is known, the place I’ve decided to live for the rest of my life.  There may be some discontent with varying aspects of life, but there is an easy, settled acceptance of home, of the surrounding environment.  Its easy to love the tiny Library in the tiny town when I know for sure I will never live in a big city with a huge library.  The town will change over time, but right now I love what it offers to me and the child.  

Mother.  I have decided that I am a good mama.  Done.  I am doing a good job.  I cannot get it wrong.  

I like easy and knowing that I am a good mama frees me of worry and that makes everything easier.  When I am free of worry I am free to find things to appreciate and I am free to receive inspiration.  I am free to stop asking the question which opens up space to be in the moment with my child, holding a space of perfect Love and knowing.  The child can rest when he is around a mama who is sure, who knows clearly that All is Well.  It feels good to think about the child being able to rest in my presence, to live free of worry and bask in his imagination and the Love that flows.  The child and I have access to infinite, perfect Love.