Why?

     A small child says, “Why?”.  

The focus of this practice is to enjoy your relationship with the child.   Enjoying your relationship comes from holding your integrity and honoring both yourself and the child.  

Prior to responding to a child’s, “Why?”, it can be helpful to evaluate your inner state.  If there is energy and focus available, a response to the “why” can flow out.  If your energy and focus are being used for a specific task, like packing up to leave the house, a verbal response is not necessary.  In this case the child’s “Why?” can be lovingly allowed to float in the air.   As you gather coats, boots and hats, snacks and water bottles, you can take a little moment to flow Love to them.  Feel yourself take a Breath, find their eyes and make Eye Contact, then continue on with your task, in silence.  This practice honors your child and their “why” by holding your integrity as you complete your task with focus.  

Children say the word ‘why’ for different reasons.  It is helpful to remember that many times the word ‘why’ is spoken for the same reason that a step is taken by a child learning to walk.  They are simply practicing a new skill.  They have observed people walking around on two legs and now they are ready to get up off the ground and try this walking magic for themselves.  So they take a step.  A word is offered by a child learning to talk.  Children have observed people talking with each other.  Around the kitchen table, in the car, outside in the yard, people are offering words.  The child is aware of a connection between people that are talking.  They can feel the exchange of energy and the focus of attention in a conversation.  Now they are ready to try this talking magic for themselves.  So they offer a word.

They are simply practicing a new skill. They hear someone say something and they want to engage in a conversation.  They want to participate in the exchange of energy.  At the end of your sentence they say, “Why?”.  The intention behind their question is not to understand your sentence.  Their intention is to practice conversation.  To imitate what they have observed happening between people.  

When you hear the word, “Why?”, you can respond from your place of understanding.  You can evaluate if the child has formed a sincere question in their mind, or if perhaps they are taking a step to learn to walk.  Your response to their “why” can flow from your understanding and the place of integrity for that specific moment in time.  

When things are busy and you are focused on completing a task, it is your responsibility to guide the child in respecting the immediate situation.  Now may not be the time to answer the question “Why?”.  That’s when the intentional practice of making eye contact as you take a breath, demonstrates respectful conversation etiquette.  Just as walking slowly on an icy path demonstrates respect for one’s body and the immediate conditions, respectfully answering a question with silence demonstrates respect for one’s focus and the immediate situation.