January 10, 2021 following at least a week, maybe more, of mateo scratching his head, I checked and found adult lice. I had also been itchy and found lice on myself. I had been in gentle denial, even sort of pushing mateo to eat butter to treat what I hoped was typical winter dry scalp. I vaguely remembered our town-friend that visits the farm regularly mentioning that she had lice in the relatively recent past, but who knows and it doesn't matter to me.
That was a Sunday evening and the laundry began that night with tater and I sleeping in an entirely different bed and room. I made the decision at that time not to tell my dear church family. (God forgive me if that was wrong.) I was desperately hoping “out of sight, out of mind”, if they didn’t know, they wouldn’t look for it and they wouldn’t get it. I didn’t want anyone to get it from us.
That Sunday evening as the washing machine ran, I drove to the dollar store and paid $8 for two special combs (it was all they had and it was a kit including the chemical wash which I threw in the garbage). Housemate researched essential oils and lined up on the table what bottles we had. We had nearly every one recommended to treat Lice. I made an olive oil, essential oil mixture and covered mateo’s head in it. Can’t remember if I wrapped him in plastic that night, but I think I did, for sleep. Then I got my sharpest scissors and cut off my hair, short. Next morning I spread it in the garden. I love my hair and was grateful it would grown back.
The next day, Monday, I called and spoke extensively with two friends who had personal experience with Lice, one of whom was a school teacher and had dealt with nearly hundreds of parents and families around this issue. That friend also happens to be a “potion maker” and immediately, generously offered to make us a special “smothering oil”. Mateo and I drove to her house on Tuesday, day 2, to get the oil plus two spay bottles of different oils that kill the adult critters. By that time mateo had agreed to cut some of his hair which made it easier for me to emotionally handle the combing. I did not want him to cut all his hair, as I had cut mine, and he agreed.
By Thursday, day 4, I felt confident we were clear of the adult bugs and I had been doing laundry every day along with a deep cleaning of the large room where we had been sleeping, and diligently keeping outerwear outside in the conveniently cold, dry weather. (Pillows, blankets, stuffed bear, and chair cushion all in the car and large basket full of coats, hats, scarves, and hairbrush out on the deck, safe from animals looking for a cozy nest.) I felt like I had done the best I could with my and mateo’s personal things. I made the decision for mateo and I to attend a craft day at a person’s house we had never met before. It was a wonderful, ongoing opportunity to join a Waldorf community of people and I didn’t want to miss. Mateo and I both wore cute, new head coverings, hair soaking in oil, and I said nothing to our new friend. I selfishly hoped that if they didn’t know, they wouldn’t get it. (At 5 weeks, truth is out, and after inspection, the mama reports her and three children show no signs of Lice, praise God).
I continued with the laundry and the oil and sporadic combing. I did find and remove nits from mateo’s head, none from mine. I was not combing thoroughly. The friends I had spoken to described the combing process that needed to happen to find and remove all the nits and I was not doing that. I was casually combing at best. I don’t remember exactly but around week two, the housemate was itching and he discovered adult Lice on his own head. I believe he started using the oil and sprays. After several days, he cut his gorgeous, thick, shoulder length hair fairly short, leaving the long facial hair intact. He did not do any laundry or keep any of his clothes outside in the cold. He also told the child that the lice came from the child playing in the chicken coop.
Sunday February 14th, 5 weeks later, I again found adults on Mateo’s head. I immediately stared laundry and put things out in the cold again. I called my friend again and spoke specifically about the combing I had not been keeping up with. I learned that I could get better, different combs. Next day, after mateo’s and my first day of homeschool together, I drove 34 miles round trip to purchase the combs. I spoke to the housemate about my perception of his lack of participation in the lice treatment. After my comments, he put his bedding outside for 8 hours the next day. That’s it. I heard housemate, the child’s father, telling him that he, the child, got lice because he eats too many sweets.
On the 18th I found four nits on mateo and was really frustrated with the combing. My friend agreed to come the following day to comb us both. I put all of housemate’s bedding outside and made up his bed with fresh, clear bedding. I put his chore clothes outside and did a load of laundry with some of his clothes that were lying around. I told him what I had done and that my friend was coming next day to comb, the school teacher with loads of experience, the one who had made us the wonderful oil and sprays. I suggested he be present for her visit. He replied defensively, telling me that I was being vindictive and that I was confused. I held my tongue, which was amazing.
Later that evening as mateo and I were getting ready for bed, I felt the gentle inspiration to shave my head clean. After mateo fell asleep, I sat in the bathroom with an entire pack of new razors that housemate had from years ago, before his beard grew out. A few passes with one of the razors showed that my hair was too long, so I got my super sharp scissors and cut the hair as short as I could without cutting my scalp. It was scary. Then I tried again with the razors. No go. It just didn’t work. I used to shave my legs so I had imagined it would be easy to shave my head. Nope. Then I felt clear inspiration to take mateo to the barber shop and have BOTH our heads shaved. Yes. That felt clear, easy. Done. Then we’d be done. By this time I had contacted 2 other friends, so a total of four different families had shared their lice experiences with me. I felt I had enough valid information to make good decisions about treating the lice. I wanted to be done. I am not willing to comb. There is no one to comb me every day and I will not put mateo through the combing, knowing that we are sharing space with someone who is not participating in the treatment process.
So we went to the barber. It was fun and we took pictures and went out to eat and bought new toys at the thrift store and now we’re done. Now I can focus on laundry and cleaning without being terrified that there are nits in our hair just waiting to hatch. We don’t have any hair. YAY!
(I know we could get it from housemate again and I’ll cross that bridge when and if we come to it. For now, I’m done.)
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