mother moment

Child returns from adventure with papa.  Outside on the deck shaking a rug, I see his face and wave, feeling the usual joy and excitement in my heart.  He’s back!  Easily, quickly notice the posture, the energy of something off in him.  His usual, expected, reliable bounding joy rests underneath something heavy.  Basking in my mama’s heart, the knowing of her child, I drop all that I was engaged in, as entire being goes to be present with the boy.  

The singularness of purpose feels good.  Clear.  Everything that I was happily pursuing falls away as if never having been.  Pointed focus on the child and anything he may need.  No wavering, no wondering, no scattered thoughts anymore as mind hones in, with heart, to meet the child. 

  I am a mother. 

      In moments like these all that I am sings Mother.  I am every woman that has ever lived to see their own child.  The definition of mother fills my chest and walks my legs out of the house to the young human just returned from adventure. 

No fear or worry, just quiet focus on the being of pure Love before me.  I am mother simply because I allow myself to be mothered perfectly by God.  I openly and intentionally receive God’s Love every single morning and many moments throughout each day.  So I can walk to my baby with peaceful heart and meet what ever it is that covers his joy.  Anything.  Give me what ever it is, all of it, your truth dear one, I want it and I can handle all of it.  God holds me up and holds me tight and there is enough to hold you and your burden.  Come here into my arms and rest.  All is well.  

I Love that feeling, that sureness, the knowing that all is well.  I love that I can see from way up on the deck that something is off with the child.  I love knowing him so well that just a glance tells me all I need to know.  I go to him and make Love available, filled with appreciation and joy as he accepts, climbing into my lap to talk and cry.  I am blessed.  I am the richest woman in the world to have this little man trust me, share his heart with me, rest with me.  I am fulfilled.

Thank God he’s ok.  Thank God it wasn’t worse.  Thank God he’s here telling me about it.  All is well. 

 

change

  Changing colors of early morning and evening time.  Watching the details of trees and grass reveal themselves with the slow and gentle lightening of the sky.     Wandering around as earth turns away from sun, sky dances in pink and orange, fading to grey.  Sharp edges of buildings and fences soften and disappear as light takes a rest for this day, eager to return in the morning. 

    Day time is wonderful, as is dark night, and I love the gentle slow changes of sunrising and sunsetting.  I love the newness of the very same trees as they sharpen from dark blobs to majestic beings reaching for the sky that lightens in the sun.  I love the closing of the evening time as all that held my focus gently fades and softens, slowly disappearing into darkness, allowing time to rest. 

    The pure cycle of a single day.  Begin new, discover, rediscover your world beautifully lit up by the morning sunshine.  Live life, focus, create, struggle, try, enjoy, bask and now dear friend, rest.  Release and allow it all to fade away, letting go of what you knew, as clear edges blur and meld into soft darkness.  Rest.  Know that tomorrow is new.  Every single time.  

earth

  I love living connected to mother earth.  It’s not a liberal, hippie phrase I use, mother earth.  After more than 10 years living on this farm, when I write or say mother earth, I am referring to an intimate partner in my life.  Just as some would say my child Louis, or, Lisa my mom, I say mother earth.  This creature cares for me by providing ground for my feet to walk on.  She feeds me and my child wonderful, delicious, abundant food.  She dazzles my eyes every morning with her atmosphere changing color from dark darkness, to subtle dark blue, lightening bluish-grey, pink, orange, and finally to the most brilliant sky blue anywhere “on the planet”.  At night she rests in her perfect orbit under a blanket of fantastic bright, twinkling stars, set for me to gaze upon.  Mother earth is my home and she ties me to everyone else.

Inviting people to the farm for a visit feels like an offer to return home.  They usually have their own place to call home but this farm is a piece of mother earth that demonstrates what their planet can look like in her freedom.  Yes, she remains your home with cement sidewalks and pavement, but come here to see your home when she’s allowed to be free.  It’s just a way of getting to know her more deeply.  This place isn’t the correct way for humans to live on earth, but it is a chance for humans to deepen their relationship with her.  Walking through the fields and the woods here shows a person how beautiful and peaceful and abundant their home is capable of being.  

I love living on Mother Earth.  I love how big she is.  I love knowing that anywhere “in the world” there are people I have never met, who live on the mother earth that I call home.  We humans are connected by this great being that travels through the sky around the sun.  She holds us and feeds us and offers a home to the birds who sing and decorate the sky.  I have lived here my whole life, on this planet, and it feels so good to begin deepening my relationship with earth.  At 47 years old, I can now see how the sunshine looks different in the early spring than it did in the winter.  Intellectually I could explain that the angle of the earth relative to the sun has shifted in those few months, but now I can see it with my eyes.  I experience the subtle differences in sunshine.  I know that the sunshine shines differently now than it did a few months ago.  Wow.  Its like reading about cheese for years, never having tasted it, and then eating cheese for the very first time.  Yum!