Friday, April 5, 2019

library love

I hit on someone yesterday at the library, homeschool-mom style.  It worked.  She took my digits and smiled.
     I was at the library basking in the loveliness of the experience when a woman walked in with 4 children.  Suddenly my kid wanted to leave and I became determined to find a movie.  I wanted to wait long enough for shyness to pass and see if there was any connection between teo and these new humans.  Frequently in this situation there is not and so we just go on about our day.  With his third request to leave lovingly refused the reward came as joyful noises from the toy dinosaur area of our sweet little library.  Contact!  I casually observed the children and then shifted focus to the mother.
     She seemed like someone I could talk to and my habits of thought quickly attacked the idea.  Then from somewhere warm and loving, a new thought came.  Just try it honey.  This is a beautiful, sincere desire and the risk is much less than the potential benefit.  It was nice to focus on the possible outcome rather than the unlikely event of total failure and embarrassment.  So I melted into the new thought and lurked by the sale books, waiting for the right moment.
     Finding home school families out here in the boonies has not been a simple google search.  Humans here are spread out and there are a lot of close neighbors who participate in a cult-type culture that is not something I desire to be welcomed in to, and their rules do not welcome outsiders, thank goodness.   One thing that has been easy and very comfortable is the library.  For such a small town we have a beautiful, functional library.  We visit regularly and teo is on speaking terms with both the nice people that work there.   I have suspected that if there are any homeschooling humans around, they could be found at the library.  Sure enough.
     After observing these particular children for a short time I felt confident enough to ask their mother is she was homeschooling them.  She smiled again and said yes.  I have been in the library enough times to watch what happens when public school kids come in to know the difference.  It felt so good to walk up to a stranger filled with desire for a lovely life for my child.  That was my motivation and it finally was bigger than all the old fears.  I have gotten really good at focusing on what I love and on what I want.  So now there is hope for a play date and even a new friend for me.  Someone kind who seemed to enjoy speaking with me and has nice skin and pretty eyes.

No comments:

Post a Comment