Monday, May 30, 2022

Silence

   "  Because who you really are is WAY downstream, you're going to constantly be in the act of deciding upstream or downstream.  You're never gonna get to the place where you won't have to think about that or feel about that.  
This alignment with Source is not like a college degree  where once you achieve it it is your forever more.  It either is or it isn't in the moment, depending upon what's active within you.  So at a minimum, we would begin, we would make the decision that we're no longer going to have conversations about things that always make you upset.  "

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGAefMrglAk

    This explains why I don't speak to the housemate.  Frequently when I'm feeling easy and light, I get the urge to speak to the human that I share space with.  Simple topic, easy question, fun idea, just offer a few words to him. 
     No.  Don't do it.  Why?  I forget sometimes, why I don't talk to him.  I love people, I love talking to people.  This guy that I live with shares with me so many of the same ideas about the world, it would be fun to talk to him. 
     No.  Don't do it kari.  Why?
    Because you made the decision that you're no longer going to have conversations that always make you upset.  Over the ten years you have spent living and working with this man, he has clearly and consistently demonstrated that any attempt to verbally communicate, about any topic, regardless of how simple or celebratory, will end in deep confusion, at a minimum.  I like clarity.  I like clear communication, honest sharing of ideas.  So I choose to not speak with my housemate because my priority is my own peace, my own enjoyment of life.  
    Its so sad that I had to write it down, because many times its hard to believe, even for me.  What I know for sure is that since I have chosen my peace over interacting with him, my life has improved dramatically.  
Done.  Everything changes and maybe he will choose to create new habits of thought, but that is irrelevant.  Either way, I have my peace.  My peace is my choice and whether or not he skims the milk and then puts it back in the fridge like its whole milk, I sill have my peace.  
    I love loving myself enough to claim my own freedom.  

 

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