Sunday, March 22, 2020

unedited ramble

Living in Community
Community came to me Friday evening.  I have been begging God to take me away from here to a community.  I want to live in community.  Why does God keep me here all isolated?  When will God move me to Community?  I don’t even know what community means.  It means not living with one other person that drives me crazy.  It means living with many other people that have also made the conscious, intentional choice to share their life with other humans.  
Community means staying in my own business.  Observing my thoughts and keeping my mouth closed.  Staying intensely conscious.  Living in community is practice.  The best spiritual practice so far for me.  And so rewarding.  
Yesterday morning.  Mornings are a sacred time for me.  I see how the tone and events of the morning can affect the entire day.  I can have a really great day by spending some intentional time first thing in the morning.  So yesterday I stayed content inside myself and watched what happened with the children.  The oldest child came out of his family sleeping room and joined the community space.  He offered a short, sincere story and I listened with a loving heart and the intention of staying inwardly focused, not to engage him.  He seemed content and became happily engaged in a book of funny stories at the table.  Twice he offered appreciation for the candle burning on the table near him, it was very pleasant to have someone sharing appreciation so early in the morning.  The child that lives here all the time then joined the community space.  We hugged and looked at spiritual art cards together in the beautiful morning light by the sliding glass door.  After a bit he wandered over to the table and quietly joined the child to look at the funny stories.  They soon had a gentle, friendly banter flowing.   Another child joined the common space and found her place easily in the peaceful environment.  Then the last child joined and melted into the kind circle of friends that had miraculously formed in my home.  So grateful.  Heart bursting with appreciation.  I love that my child gets to experience community living.  Waking up and sharing space with other humans.  I am satisfied with our life and I love to experience something new.  Having this family here for the weekend gives me a whole new perspective on everything.  On all the tiny details of my life.
It helps me see that I love my life, I love my house.  I love to share the space where we live.  I feel proud and honored to live here and to offer it as a gift to share with someone.  I love the toys we have.  I love the dishes and vessels we have, the spoons and labels.  Katherine is such a huge part of our life everyday.  That’s one of the things I love about sharing our space with someone.  When its people from the tribe, people that are beginning conscious, they all generally express sincere appreciation for material things in our home.  Not from a place of lack, but from a place of abundance, just appreciating the obvious beauty and functionality of the piece.  What they are focused on is almost always a piece from Katherine.  The love that swells up in my heart is The Love.  Its pure and whole.  Its Joy.  Every time.  Faithful and Steadfast, all those words I’m becoming familiar with in the Bible.  After they express their uncontainable appreciation, I then get to Joyfully declare, “That’s Katherine’s”!  Oh I yearn for the words to describe the Love and Joy in those words.  They are pure, whole, eternal.  Katherine left her physical body and returned to source, she is my direct access to God, to Universal, to Clarity and Love, Peace and Truth.  That’s where my dad is now also.  An old neuro pathway was activated and offered the thought, “well, I’d rather have my friend Katherine than all her lovely material possessions”.  And right away I can see that is not true.  What liberation.  What Freedom!  To sincerely embrace the moment, the reality of what is and find peace, satisfaction, unwavering Joy and deep contentment.  I DO have my friend Katherine.  She is with me every moment.  We are all one, we are all connected and she lives in my heart.  I am quite practiced at communicating with her in my heart because that is my only option.  We used to communicate over the phone, e-mail, and home visits.  That’s when I learned of her heart communications with her ‘dead’ husband Garrick.  She openly shared how they shared time together, what was discussed, how it made her feel.  She was grateful to me as a friend because she could speak openly of her relationship with her beloved that continued even after his physical body had ceased to hold him.  I was fascinated and humbled by her honesty about something that was so totally different from everything I had been taught about what it means to be human.  
I knew she was right.  I knew it in my gut, like I see the sun rise every morning in the east.  I see it with my own eyes, its true.  I love noticing how things feel and being able to know when something is true, when its right.  What a gift to know when something comes from Love.  To know that I can count on that.  I can rest in that.  A year ago I was working on a project out in the pasture and I wanted help.  I began calling on my dad in my heart.  It flowed.  I had so many questions about how to build this fence for my camper.  He was right there with me when ever I called on him and we worked it out together.  At the time he was in his physical body living in Florida with his wife.  And, part of him lives in Love, in Universal, just like part of me lives there too.  That’s what it means to say we’re all connected.  Each human is only partially expressed in their physical body.  The other part remains expressed as the non-physical Universal Love.  The oneness, the Universal Vibration.  We’re all there vibrating together and little pinches get stretched and pulled out like thick, gooey taffy and end up physically manifested in a human body.  Each human still has the long, sticky taffy strands reaching back to Universal Love, they are still fully connected to whence they came.  So here on Earth the physical part of my building the fence wanted help and so I went into my heart and traveled the gooey taffy back to the Source, the primary lump of taffy to speak to Dad.  I could feel his voice in my heart clearly.  I received guidance from the Universe and it was in the voice of Dad because that’s what worked for me.  That felt good to me.  That’s what I was able to hear.  Now that he has left his physical body and returned to the Source not very much has changed for me.  I am still able to access him, to communicate with him, to spend time together, to bask in the Love and Joy where he now completely resides.

This morning I am having tea with Katherine and Jessica.  The good Lord got me up before 5am and I am loving myself well.  Amen.  

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